I swear i'm trying to be a hockey fan but I never get around to it

Alright so in my introductory post I mentioned I was a sports fan and referenced the teams I followed..if you know me well enough and/or you paid careful attention you likely noticed that hockey was left unrepresented....while I try to get myself to start following hockey (espeically when the playoffs begin I've gotta come to the conclusion that its probably not in the cards)...however since i'm relatively young and still have a fairly full head of hair (for now) I am willing to accept nominations for which NHL team I should become a fan of.....However, before this I will address what I believe are the three major reasons why attaching to an NHL team has alluded me thus far.

1) No Pro Hockey Teams From Wisconsin: While Milwaukee does have the Admirals (Nashville's minor league affiliate) it just isn't the same as having a pro-team to have been attached to since early childhood. Also, while other midwestern cities have pro teams (i.e. Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis) I would feel dirty rooting for a time sharing a city/fanbase with teams like the Bears, Vikings, Cubs, etc. that I have a strong distaste for

2) Regular Season Standings: To paraphrase from the Will Ferell classic Talladega Nights....if your not first, your last (exact phrase skips my mind at the time)...point being trying to decipher the regular season standings is akin to translating a foreign language....from what I gather, the regular season seems to be playing not to lose instead of playing to win.....so you get 1/2 credit for losing in OT or losing in a shootout.....seriously whats the point?

3) The Right Situation has yet to come up: I would say the closest i've come to attaching to a team was when I lived in Davis and would sometimes watch San Jose Sharks games on tv..although I never considered myself a fan, there was a better chance of me casually watching when they were on than anyone else.....However, this fan/pro-team pairing just doesn't feel right for me....during the time I lived in Sharks tv territory (fall 2006-april 2009) the Sharks had already established themselves as a perennial playoff contender and it felt too bandwogonish for me to become a full on Sharks fan

With that being said....if given particular parameters and the incentive to do so I will accept and consider nominations for which NHL team I should become a die hard fan of. For a nomination for this to be considered the team needs to meet particular conditions

1)NOT play in a city thats a direct rival of any other teams I root for (Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis, etc....)

2) NOT be a team with lots of recent success and have an overflowing bandwagon (Pittsburgh, Detroit, San Jose , etc.)

3) (Preferable but not Mandatory) either a) loyal fan base and/or a team with little or no track record of success (a combination of the two would be ideal)